It was a normal enough Copenhagen situation; that’s what makes it frustrating. I was introduced to some friends of my partner’s in Copenhagen yesterday evening. Two of them persisted in speaking Danish conscious that I did not understand what they were saying, and the third – rather than politely enquiring about anything – proceeded to lambast me in English for not speaking Danish, asking me why I was not spending my whole summer going to an intensive course to make sure that I learn.
The problem, I have come to see, is that I actually do not want to learn the language, because actually I do not want to be in Denmark. Actually, taking that to its logical conclusion, I am actually not really in Denmark now. Denmark is just the place I live. The county where I have healthcare cover and a mobile phone contract. But all my work, all my friends, the vast majority of my purpose in life, are elsewhere.
In essence the guy lambasting me about language was right – to manage to really be at home in Denmark, the language is vital. It’s central. That’s correct, fair and justifiable. But with the language critique comes this kind of edge of incredulity – why would I ever not want to integrate in Copenhagen? The answer is that I have things to give up elsewhere, that taking children to kindergarten in a Christiania bike and drinking Carlsberg are not my sole aims in life, and that thanks to the nature of my job I can actually live in one place and not work there, and hell I am only here for personal reasons anyway. Yes, damn it, for me Denmark is not actually the best place in the world.
When I am in Copenhagen I have this kind of a craving for a conversation over a beer with a good friend (but I have no good friends here), or a chance meeting in the street with someone I know (but I know very few people here). But to get to that stage I have to give up more elsewhere, to travel less and work less, and to commit properly to learning Danish, and those are things I cannot bring myself to do. I cannot sketch out a future here that would be to my liking and hence I need to resort to a more minimal strategy to cope for now, and look forward to trips to Brussels or London for those beers with friends or chance encounters.
In short I think this place will never be home, and I only have myself to blame.
It’s funny how most people who don’t like Denmark that much always try to excuse themselves against this notion of “the happiest country in the world”. which, to my view, yes ,is an overrated one- these rankings are qualitative and subjective in nature- but, even if that was a scientific truth, emotional attachement to places is not just about practical perks and privileges (context: I am a fairly privileged white European, being Italian I often get mocked for the usual hideous and gross stereotypes, but nothing comparable to racism obviously) . my point anyway is: no place is perfect, to me Denmark exhibits a lackluster character in its general lack of diversity, but so do many other places, small cities and rural environments, everywhere in the world, and I know many people from my same background would be instead appeased precisely because of that
it really is subjective.
for me personally, it just doesn’t make me fall in love with the place that’s all. I have a feeling talking to expats here, that Denmark for many has been a marriage of convenience -which is all very well as a concept, but if your personality is the kind that chases true Love in everything you do , and you are not in love with Denmark, then you are NOT an idiot for leaving this place behind. I’ve been here for 2 years uniquely to pursue a career, and, sure, I was open for life to happen here. Nothig else instead turned out that was relevant to me in this time ,so I kind of feel free to go. You can be happy elsewhere, no need for media blessing and the stupid rankings to tell you where’s your happy place.purchasing power is high and work life balance and bike lanes, all great, but you still can have these things in other places and maybe different stimuli amd diversity, if you are a creative person.
If your gut feeling screams something is off with Denmark, just leave Denmark. my gut feeling is sending messages loud and clear all the way up to my throat now. a slight sense of choking here, even though rationally, there is nothing to complain about Denmark. but gut feeling often tells the simple truths we are too conditioned by others’ opinion to believe in. I am curious to know, how many of the people commenting here did leave DK and what they think about their choice now.
Hi to all the non-racists above (=meaning all the people who are not of Danish heritage. No “hi” to any of the people of Danish heritage, you can simply read here just how racist morons Danes-by-heritage are).
Firstly, Danes (and many others too but ESPECIALLY DANES IN DENMARK) must learn that there’s no such thing as a REAL Dane and other people. Real Danes are all people who are born and raised in Denmark despite heritage. THAT’S a real Dane. Just because you have Danish heritage this alone DOES NOT make you Danish. Danes don’t get this. Danes are born morons. It’s not the fu-c-king color that makes you Danish, it’s that you’re a native of Denmark (= raised in Denmark). If anyone does not understand this, they are morons and racists. So to my point; 95 % of Denmark and the Danes are racist morons. I suggest anyone to go out on the town in Denmark, anywhere, with a hidden camera and post it on Youtube or elsewhere public. The best advice I got from a very smart friend of mine, who himself escaped Denmark aka hell hole, is to publically embarrass the Danes by using their own racist behavior against themselves. Danes deserve to taste reality. My friend also said: “Put the Danes back where they belong – in the gutter with mud and dirt”. When will these moron-Danes learn that there’s no such thing as “real” Danes and other Danes? What an embarrassment Danes are to this world. Being real Danish is defined by where you are raised as a child. THAT makes you real Danish. Not what your heritage is. Danes are also big-time liars and sociopaths. I have met 12 Danes with non-Danish heritage (I remember one with an English grandmother and another with a Polish Grandfather) who both lied about their heritage and claimed to have only Danish heritage. Such racists! On top of everything they are racist against other Danes with non-Danish heritage. Disgusting behavior! Why can’t Danes just be honest and share their heritage with others if they’re so interested in sticking their long noses into other people’s heritage lines. My advice: always lie to Danes whenever they ask another native Dane about their heritage just because someone might “look” non-Danish. Just lie and say a new heritage every time. Use Danish-lying-method against the Danes themselves. Make them taste their own medicine. Why do you racist-moron Danes ask about other peoples heritage if you don’t share your own heritage? – and yes it matters even if it’s your great-grandmother who’s half-English or Half-German, you’re still of non-Danish heritage. Keep that in mind next time you Danish racist losers are acting racist against other native Danes who have heritage from outside EU.